Becoming very discouraged :(

I think since my last post I've depleted my BR to almost nothing. Currently I'm sitting with around $350 in my PS account. I know pretty pathetic for the caliber of player I honestly feel I am.

Things just really haven't been going my way and the beats and unmanageable situations just keep rolling in. I'm now reduced to the lowest of the low limits which isn't the end of the world to me, just frustrating. I've been backed in this corner many times before and have always found a way out, but for some reason I get this uneasy feeling that I'm gonna go busto this time. Thats such a bad attitude for a poker player to have and to be quite honest that mentality probably has some correlation to my recent shityness!

I've spent the past few days doing a lot of forum reading and listening to tons of P5's podcasts. I feel like the game to me just isn't all that exhilarating right now as it used to be. In the past I thrived on those 12+ hour sessions where I would win 10+ buyins at whatever level I was playing at or finishing off that tournament for a nice sized score. These days my time to play is so limited that when I have time I feel like I'm forcing myself to play.

This really fucking sucks because I love poker and the challenging obstacles it presents. I know that this new job that I have is the main factor in my poker demise but monetarily things are going so well for me now that it's taking away from poker.

Who knows what will become of this? By no means am I giving up on poker and by no means have I lost that edge that I used to posses. I think I just need to let everything work itself out. To start anew I plan on having a better outlook on poker and the beats/wins that come my way. I am too young and life is too good right now for me to be stressing and I need to remember that. Having the ability to play online poker with regularity is a blessing in itself, not to mention the success I've had. I need to remind myself of these things and not worry when poker throws a cure ball at me; rather learn how to sit on that pitch and hit it out of the park.